Choices

An unexpected email from my first “love” got my wheels turning this week. It wasn’t thoughts of what could have been but thoughts of how truly lucky I am to be where I am. I look back at years gone by and I don’t have regrets. I’ve always understood that I have the right to make choices. When things are working I go with it. When they aren’t I make a decision to start anew. Choices are essential but it’s most important to understand that everybody has to make them. Sometimes they are easy to make, while others will have you tossing and turning all night. The fact of the matter is you’ve got to be excited about your life and be happy with who you are and define who you want to be and in order to do that, you must take charge. God didn’t place us on this earth to be passive; so don’t waste time waiting around for things to happen on their own!


I’ve been called upon to be a lot of things; a wife, homemaker, a business owner, a mother, a woman, a disciple. I take my role in this life very seriously and I take responsibility for the decisions I’ve made. For quite some time now my main purpose has been to nurture my relationship with my husband. My love for him grows deeper each day and that’s how I know – I made the right choice! Together we have built a happy home filled with love, laughter, family and friends. Yes, absolutely there have been bumps in the road and we’ve met our fair share of critics but with that we made another choice – we made the choice to know that we are the keepers of our family and that foundation can not be disturbed by such things. I’m a blessed woman because of the paths I’ve chosen and I’m so happy to know that my heart doesn’t steer me wrong.


So, let’s raise our glasses to the people we are; to the people we’re meant to be and all the “choices” we’ll make in between!

Are You as Needy as I?

We all have needs, don't we? Some of us are good at voicing our needs, while others are content with working toward fulfilling our needs solo. Recently Eric and I did a Bible study on Mark 11. It’s a great book in the Bible that paints one of the most stunning pictures of Jesus. Mark 11 tells us about the awesome ministry and miracles of Jesus. While the whole book of Mark would be some yummy spiritual food, I actually want to focus on a very colorful statement Jesus made in Mark 11:22-25: (Appetizer, perhaps?)

(22) “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. (23) “I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. (24) Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. (25) And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

What are your thoughts on what Jesus said? Do you think the statement is metaphoric or realistic? Many may interpret this just as Jesus says it, whatever you want God will provide. Let’s re-evaluate what Jesus says:

To receive what we ask for we must 1) have Faith in God 2) believe in our hearts that what we say will happen (no doubt!) and 3) ask it without having hate or vengeance for anyone in our heart.

Wow! That’s a big pill to swallow, don’t you think? In my opinion I think God wants His children to be responsible and pray for their needs and desires. In verse 23 Jesus speaks about the mountain being cast into the sea; a very extraordinary act but as demonstrated throughout the Bible, faith can most certainly moves mountains, just like Jesus’ faith wilted a fig tree overnight. (Mark 11:12-20) And is it we who cast the mountain into the sea? Can faith in ourselves alone get us our needs and desires? No, again Jesus says, “…what he says will happen, it will be done for him.” (Mark 11:23)

True faith pleases God and just like an earthly parent, God has a soft spot for His children. God can give you what you need without giving you exactly what you think you need. God says “No” just as much as He says “Yes”. Whatever answer we receive, we have to remember there’s a reason behind His decision. It could be timing and sometimes it takes a “No” to get to the really wonderful things in life. True?

So in closing, I’d like to remind you to take any of your needs to the Lord. He always listens and always responds (are you listening?) It may not be exactly what you want but it will be exactly what you need! God bless you!

History

I know how hard it is to stay positive. There have been some stressful situations in my life that have tested my ability to keep positive. I won’t lie, at times, I have failed. I can only thank God that I’m surrounded with caring people who understand and express compassion just when I need it!

I can sit and make a thousand excuses for why I’ve done this or why I have done that but when it comes down to it, all that matters is that its history and God has given me a new day to make up for it. I would be at a loss if I chose not to take this new day and be the best ME I can be.

It’s nice to take in fresh air and truly let the past go. It isn’t easy but it’s really the only way I can be who I am – a loving and forgiving person. Today, for my own sake, I am choosing to let history be history.

TO MY HUSBAND, ERIC (my best friend!): You deserve a real shout out here because you have above all been my support system throughout all the low points in time. You know the struggles and you have chosen patience over anger. Without you, I would have let anger get the best of me. You have listened, you have given me support, you have defended me and furthermore loved me unconditionally through out. I’m glad I married my best friend – I can’t think of a better person to spend my life with. I love you, Eric!

TO MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS: Saying thank you isn’t enough! I appreciate every single one of you, near and far. I am so blessed to have you in my life. You are so wonderful and I’m glad that our paths have crossed. Many hugs, many kisses…and a thousand more best wishes!

If you are struggling with anger or grudges, I hope you too can take the high road and say, “enough is enough!” Truly, there is no situation, no person, place or thing that should have that much negative impact on a person’s true self!

SCRIPTURES: Here are a few scriptures that have helped me:

Proverbs 14
“People with a hot temper do foolish things; wiser people remain calm.” “If you stay calm, you are wise, but if you have a hot temper, you only show how stupid you are.” (17, 29). The terms “stupid” and “fool” in Proverbs refer to sin and error, not mental ability.

Proverbs 15
“A gentle answer quiets anger, but a harsh one stirs it up.” “Hot tempers cause arguments, but patience brings peace.” (1,18)

Mark 11: 22-25
(22) And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God.
(23) For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.
(24) Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.
(25) And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

Hope these help you as much as they have helped me.

Anger

Today my spiritual food is going to be about anger and irritation. I have certainly been tested in this category lately. It seems as though everything lately has been a true test of my patience. Sometimes it’s so easy to get angry or irritated with people and situations. God tells us that we should be slow to anger though.

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-it leads only to evil (Psalm 37:8).
A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly (Proverbs 14:29).

So how can we do that? There are many techniques for managing the anger process. You can view some of helpful techniques here: http://www.1st-anger-management.com/

It’s hard to mentally tell ourselves to “keep your cool”, especially when stressful situations occur, however, it’s a virtue when we choose patience over anger. Everybody experiences anger, even God gets angry (Psalms 7:11). Everybody deals with anger differently. Dealing with anger in a calm way is the ultimate goal we should work towards.

When I start to feel angry I start counting to 10 followed with a few deep breaths. This serves 2 purposes. 1) It challenges me to focus on something besides that anger building up and 2) it starts to ease the stress my muscles and mind are building up. Then finally, I just surrender to God and let Him walk me through it. It’s amazing how these 3 steps have helped me. I still get angry, no doubt, but the way I chose to deal with it is totally different than my old habits. I feel like a better person. Now it seems so natural to not let little things get to me, it also feels great not to stress the small stuff. It’s even more wonderful to know that when my anger does build up that God is there to work through it and believe me, He does just that!

PRAYER:

Lord, I need help in this area. I know that I have offended you more times than any person has offended me and you have forgiven me for each offense. I need to extend that same grace to those around me who have offended me. Give me the heart that will stand the offenses and look on with love rather than discord. Give me the wisdom to return offenses with kind words or actions. Help me to forgive immediately even if changes are to come. Show me the offenses I've done to others and help me as I seek to right my wrongs. I am only human Lord, but with your help I can achieve peace. Amen.

A Winning Hand

It’s so easy to be angry and put a negative spin on life when you’ve been dealt what seems like a losing hand. If you’re at this point, I pray that you find your way. I hope that you realize that you’ve got another hand…a WINNING hand…you just can’t play it until the round is up…so be patient because your turn is coming.

I’ve grown in the biggest way by just praying and by finally coming to an understanding. I am at peace because I trust in God and in His plan enough to say, “Okay Father, it’s in your hands, you’re my deliverer and your truth will set us free- I trust in you because ultimately you know best.” Max Lucado illustrated it well when he told a story about his daughter. His 6 year old daughter was telling her dad, Max Lucado, that she wanted him to quit his job as a preacher and become an ice cream man. She gave a compelling argument citing that “they seem so happy, giving out candy and ice-cream while listening to jolly music all day long!” But the fact is that Max was wiser and knew that his plan of being a preacher was better…and that’s how we need to look at it when we look at our life. God knows better…His plan will be better!

I use to worry a lot. I have great fears and with worries come a lot of voiced concern. This drove my husband crazy because he just couldn’t understand the anxiety I felt inside- the unpredictable or the possibility of something going wrong- literally weighed on my chest. Through time I’ve learned that worrying day in and day out will not prevent certain things from happening. I’ve learned to live in the moment- and that’s been a difficult transition for me – because it wasn’t my natural tendency. I know ultimately my true treasures are in Heaven and all the pain, suffering, disappointment and anguish we feel on earth will last only a little while in comparison to the love, laughter and perfection we’ll feel in Heaven – for eternity!

Find your peace and share it with others. Remember to love one another and make each day new!

Life Lesson - Dash

Sometimes life can fall into a routine but we’ve got to remember to appreciate it. I’ve certainly had my share of ups and downs and it’s been a long journey. I’ve been learning (for a while, I might add) the importance of living for today. From the time I wake up to the time I lay down – it’s a blessing and a chance to do something great!

Remember, not everyday will be perfect. If you wake up with the notion that you’re going to live – you’re going to love- you have some pretty good ingredients for a fantastic day. Even the best recipes can turn out bad. You've just got to keep trying until you cook it just right! This actually reminds me of a very touching poem named “The Dash Poem”. If you’ve not heard it before, I promise you it’s worth the read. Shoot, even if you’ve heard it before…it’s worth the read again! I hope you enjoy!

The Dash Poem

by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

Reaching Out

Recently during a weekly womens prayer group something got my wheels turning. I realized that it can be easily taken for granted the time we spend together in prayer. It's so nice to openly share painful feelings or life experiences without being judged. Although it is not easy - it is liberating. I wonder how marriages, families and people in general would be if they learned to lean on other every once in a while and hand the struggles over to God together.

It’s human nature to deny our need to reach out to others. It’s hard for us to admit that we can’t or shouldn’t do things alone. Who wants to admit that they need guidance or that they need a shoulder to lean on? Not many…

This has been a problem since the beginning of man. Even God looked upon Adam and knew it was not good for man to be alone. (Genesis 1) Take a look at Jesus and His ministry; even He didn’t do it alone. (Matthew 8)

We were not built to go through life to rely on ourselves alone. There’s a great saying, “a man who goes through life alone, dies alone – but a man who goes through life with friends, lives on forever.”

It isn’t easy letting the pride go and allowing people in, but it’s pivotal to every man’s success. I look back on my life and I can pinpoint great things that I could have done, if only I had reached out to others for help. I’ve missed quite a few opportunities because of my silly pride; opportunities that I may never have again. That’s the sad reality of it all.

Do you struggle with this? Can you pinpoint something you could have done, if only you had someone’s help? Is there something you could have done better with a friend near?

I’m in the beginning stages of “letting go and reaching out”. Some of you may not be to that point and others of you already reach out openly and I truly envy you!

Until next time, love everyone you see – show it with a jolly hello, a hug, or even a smile! Work on reaching out to others and if you know someone who has trouble reaching out – reach out to them, let them know you’re there.

PRAYER:

Lord, I have struggled with showing my feelings to others. Pride has been a barrier in my life for many years and I believe that only You have given me the ability to truly open up and I thank you. Lord, if there are areas in my life that I need to be more open about or lift up to you in prayer, I ask that you reveal those areas to me. I will always need your guidance and understanding. If there are others in my path who share in that need Lord, I ask that you open my eyes to them. Thank you for your growing grace. Amen.

A Virtuous Woman

I have a bookmark that is placed between pages in my Bible. It's a girly bookmark framed with pink and purple flowers but in the middle it has a print of Proverbs 31:25-31 and I'd like to share it with you...

A Virtuous Woman

Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the fruit of her hand and let her own works praise her in the gates.

It can be pretty convicting when you read the word of God and realize you're not living up to your potential. I know and understand that God doesn't ask us to do anything that we aren't capable of accomplishing. We are suppose to find strength and comfort in our Lord. Christians are suppose to be "set-apart" but far too often we let the world cloud our view of heavenly riches - even heavenly goals. God gives divine promises of a "new" life and asks very little of us.

There are areas in my life where I need to apply the traits of a "Virtuous Woman". I know it isn't easy because I already try very hard. Time and time again I fail. I do find peace knowing that God sees the depth of my heart and He knows the things I struggle with because He dwells inside of me.

I'm going to keep praying and looking up for strength because without that strength I may never accomplish anything! I challenge you to do the same!

PRAYER:

Lord, I realize that I have walls built up in areas in my life and I come to you to ask that you tear down those walls so that I can move forward in life with a clear and open heart. There have been things that I have done, Father, that I am even ashamed to mention but I come before you know to ask your forgiveness. Give me wisdom to know when to hold my tongue and when to speak up, Lord. Help me in my journey as I prepare to also help other women who deal with the same struggles. May we openly (without judgment) seek your ways Lord and implement them into our lives fully. Thank you for your blessings Lord. Amen.